The Paradox of Fulfilment
How do you find fulfilment in your work? Would you: love what you do, or do what you love?
At first glance, they sound similar. But to me, they evoke entirely different worlds.
One conjures up a future vision—a role, a calling, a path to be forged. The other invites us into this very moment, asking us to soften into what is. One looks outward, striving to build or become something. The other looks inward, surrendering, shifting our relationship to what’s already here.
If we want to be happy in life and our work, what is the attitude we should adopt?
Should we chase the dream toward something better, or change our perspective and learn to see the beauty in and appreciate what’s in front of us?
Change the outside, or the inside?
What’s your inclination?
Perhaps adopting a little of the other approach would increase your happiness!
Picture of Western Happiness
In the west, we’re conditioned to seek the first—in fact, we’re conditioned as perpetual seekers, go-getters.
I’ve always been a bit of a doer, more of a human-doing than a human-being—constantly focused on the next thing, the next leap, the next version of myself! However, as a human-doing my life is diminished to a means to an end, always getting there, often missing the process and joy of the journey.
But lately, something in this approach is beginning to unravel for me.
I’ve begun to wonder: is it possible to live fully now, to find fulfilment here, and still move forward? To evolve without striving, to act without efforting?
How can you live in the present, enjoying it fully and move towards a ‘better’ future?
Is happiness something that we achieve in the future? Surely, happiness can only be experienced in this moment. So, how can I find it now?
It seems to me that if you don’t enjoy the process, then you miss the point. You miss life itself for a made-up notion of happiness projected into the future, that never arrives.
This article is a reflection on that paradox—between striving and surrender, getting there and being here.
How can we approach our work—and our lives—from a place of awareness, wholeness, and flow? Not to find the perfect job, but to experience something far more meaningful: work that emerges organically from who we are, and where we are.
Striving vs. Surrender
From an early age, we’re taught to aim high, set goals, push forward and make the most of our lives. We become fluent in striving. The dream job, the ideal life, the vision of who we might become—it keeps us moving. But often, it also keeps us chasing.
Then there’s another voice—quieter, more ancient. The one that wants peace: to be here and savour the moment.
It’s easy to pit these two paths against each other. Striving can start to feel like a trap, a never-ending loop of not-enoughness. Surrender, meanwhile, can be misread as giving up, as complacency or stagnation.
But what if they’re not opposites? What if both are incomplete on their own?
To strive without awareness leads to burnout, disconnection, and the sense that life is always somewhere else. To surrender without awareness and intention can keep us stuck in situations that no longer serve us.
Real growth, real fulfilment, often lives in between the two.
It asks us to listen to the dreams in our hearts and to stay rooted.
To act and move forward, but to look inward as we do.
To trust that we are being shaped by life, even as we shape it ourselves.
It’s not about balance in the conventional sense, but an integration between action and stillness, of doing and being.
And it begins with awareness.
Pleasure, Pain and Peace
What made me want to write this, mostly, is, I have to admit, my own suffering.
I love pleasure. I don’t like pain.
The pleasure of sipping coffee with its exotic aroma, and the pain of the caffeine increasing the tension in my head live together.
The ease of things going well, and the tension when they don’t; I’ve noticed how much I’m tossed about by life’s waves—happy one moment, frustrated the next. It’s exhausting being in constant battle with life, trying to bend it to my will. It puts me on a treadmill of craving and resistance.
I’ve started to wonder: is there a steadier way to live?
My middle name means ‘Peace’ in Sanskrit. And I’ve started to wonder if I can live up to it, just a little. I’m curious if I can experience more peace while still experiencing the ups and downs of life.
Right now, even as I write, there’s a mixture of sensations—tightness in my chest, tension in my face, and also a sweet taste in my mouth. Pleasure and pain—they’re always here, shifting, trading places!
This prompts me to ask: What is my relationship to them?
I’m curious…
What are you experiencing right now? And what is your relationship to what you’re experiencing?
The Buddhists call it Samsara: the wheel of pleasure and pain, gain and loss, praise and blame. It never stops turning.
In meditation practice, we’re invited to sit with what is. Not to grasp at the pleasant, not to push away the painful. Just to let experience arise and pass.
When I do that, something quiet opens up—a deeper kind of okayness. A peace not dependent on what’s happening, but on how I’m relating to it.
Finding Real Peace
Peace—real peace—isn’t found on the edge of that wheel. It’s found at its centre, in Being itself.
In the part of us that can witness our experience without getting lost in it, where we have perspective and awareness, to choose how to respond with wisdom.
When we stop trying to escape discomfort or chase a perfect state, we become more available to life. We show up with more clarity.
Bringing this attitude to our work, we are able to notice what’s needed in each situation and relationship. It brings us to our centre, showing us our part in perpetuating certain circumstances, revealing what needs to change in ourselves and also the courageous actions we need to take, from awareness, rather than from fear.
“The journey of career change is as much about inner awareness as it is about outer action.”
-Free Your Flow
Creating from Presence
There is a centre in us where we’re already ok, happy and at peace. By moving our attention to where there is already peace, we have real freedom to create.
Awareness is the place where we can observe the ups and downs of our experience in peace. The still point in the eye of the hurricane, that remains undisturbed.
A working definition of Presence would be having Awareness of what’s happening in our experience, moment to moment, both within and outside.
This stillness allows us to see clearly—not just where we’re going, but where we are, and how we’re relating to it all.
Without the perspective of awareness, we get pulled into patterns, unconscious of our part in the creation of our reality.
We go from relationship to relationship, hoping the next will finally fix the empty feeling and meet our expectations. Or we move jobs because we feel bored, or stay too long because we fear discomfort and the unknown. We avoid risk, numb dissatisfaction, and call it being responsible.
But often, the same feelings resurface—because it’s not just the job that needs to change, but our way of perceiving.
Awareness isn’t about being passive. It’s not about tolerating what is or spiritually bypassing discomfort.
It’s about being radically honest with ourselves—about what nourishes us, what depletes us, what’s asking to be seen.
From this place, a different kind of movement becomes possible.
We don’t leap out of fear or desperation. Listen. Wait. We act when the time is right—not from pressure, but from inner alignment.
And that’s when change feels organic. We’re no longer running away from something. We’re being moved by something deeper.
This is the path of Presence, where inspired action arises not from anxiety, but from clarity.
Beyond Pleasure and Pain
In our nervous system, pleasure and pain act as a primal compass, designed to keep us alive. But being alive is not the same as fulfilment.
When we’re constantly chasing the pleasurable and avoiding the painful, we stay on the surface of things.
But what if pain wasn’t the enemy? What if it were a messenger?
Sometimes pain at work is pointing to a simple truth: we’re not growing. We’re not using our gifts. We’re not in an environment where we feel seen, safe, or alive.
Other times, the pain is internal—it’s our resistance, our fear of change, attitudes towards our co-workers, and our inherited stories about success and worthiness. In those moments, the discomfort is not a sign to run, but an invitation to stay, to feel, to understand and to transform.
Likewise, not all pleasure is a sign we’re on the right path either.
Comfort can numb. Validation can become addictive. Success can be hollow when it’s not rooted in who we truly are.
This is why awareness matters: to avoid following pleasure blindly or reacting to pain reflexively.
We can listen to both. Stay curious. We can ask, “What is this sensation trying to show me?”
Pain, when met with awareness, becomes clarity.
Pleasure, when met with presence, becomes joy.
And both can guide us—not to escape where we are, but to deepen into our truth.
Loving What You Do
There’s a quiet kind of power in loving what you do—not in the Instagrammable, everything-is-perfect kind of way, but in the steady, grounded act of bringing your full Self to meet the moment as it is.
To love what you do is not to pretend it’s all meaningful. It’s to find meaning through your Presence.
It might be in the way you speak to a colleague. The care you bring to a simple task. The attention you give to how your body feels in an activity.
It’s not about the role you play—it’s about the relationship you have with it.
Loving what you do doesn’t mean settling. It doesn’t mean ignoring the parts that don’t fit. It means showing up with awareness and curiosity, even as you remain open to change.
Because from love and awareness, not obligation, comes clarity. And from clarity comes movement.
That movement might be internal: a shift in perception, a release of tension, a new sense of possibility in the same place.
Or it might be external: a bold conversation, a new direction, the courage to let go of what no longer feels true.
The point is not to stay where you are forever but to be so fully in it that the next step reveals itself.
This is how love becomes a guide.
Not the love of what you do, but how you do it.
And when you bring that love, rooted in awareness and presence, something begins to shift.
The work becomes a mirror. A teacher. A space for becoming.
Recovering Your Energy
Often, what gets in the way of moving towards “Doing What you Love” is being depleted in what you’re currently doing.
Moving forward only becomes possible once you stop this energy drain.
Some ways in which you can begin to transform your current work situation and recover your energy and enthusiasm are as follows:
Cup Half Full Perspective
Consciously focusing on the positives in your current work, however small. This counters the trap of constant striving.
Appreciate the present moment and have gratitude for existing benefits. This can create a better relationship with daily tasks, reduce the drain of energy.
Seeing the Chance for Growth
View challenges as opportunities to learn and develop within your current role. This can help combat stagnation and can reignite enthusiasm, an internal shift that provides a sense of forward momentum without solely relying on external changes.
Service – How Can You Be of Service
Focus on your contributions to others, connect your work to a larger purpose, giving meaning and value.
Actively seeking ways to help colleagues or clients can transform mundane tasks and cultivate a sense of appreciation for your role.
Setting Boundaries
Try to establish clear boundaries at work, in your relationships and between it and your personal life.
This is crucial for energy recovery and preventing burnout.
Protecting your time and energy makes it easier to approach your tasks with a more positive mindset and increases your capacity to potentially “love the work you do” by preventing depletion and facilitating a more sustainable relationship with your work.
“To move boldly into your future, first make peace with your present. This will give you the energy to step forward.”
-Free Your Flow
All of these internal changes can provide a renewed perspective and the energy and enthusiasm to change the circumstances that are currently misaligned, either by transforming where you are or moving.
Doing What You Love
Doing what you love can sound like a promise—a destination where everything clicks, and fulfilment is finally achieved.
But more often than not, it’s a path—messy, non-linear, and alive.
The dream of “doing what you love” can become another trap if it’s built on idealism without awareness. It’s easy to chase the perfect role, the meaningful mission, the freedom-filled lifestyle, and forget to ask: Who is the one chasing this?
What are they believing? What are they afraid of? Does something need to change inside for this to happen? What are they hoping this dream will fix?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more.
More creativity. More alignment. Spaciousness, more contribution.
But let that desire come from Presence, not from lack. Not a future fix.
Let it come from your fullness, and not an escape.
When we’re truly rooted in ourselves—aware, open, listening—the impulse to move towards work we love becomes organic. It doesn’t come from striving, instead, we are magnetically pulled toward it, as a calling.
From within.
We begin to sense where our gifts want us to go and what we’re here to offer.
We follow—not because we’re trying to fix ourselves or find worth, but because it’s a joy to follow.
Doing what you love is not about having it all figured out.
It’s about listening, responding, creating—moment by moment. It’s a becoming, not a fixed identity.
When you move from Presence, the path unfolds. Not all at once, but step by step, like a dance, moving to the music.
And the joy isn’t just at the end—it’s in the movement itself.
Flowing with Inspired Action
So if Presence is the ground, how do we move?
We move from inspiration, not obligation.
We act not because we must, but because we can’t not. This is inspired action.
It doesn’t mean waiting around for lightning to strike.
It means tuning in. Listening.
Moving when something in you stirs, quietly or boldly, and says, This is the next step.
Sometimes it’s obvious: update your CV, reach out to someone, sign up for the course.
Other times, it’s subtler: a shift in how you show up, a deeper honesty in a conversation, a small boundary that changes everything.
When we act from presence. We respond. Follow. We let life lead us as much as we lead it.
There may be many more small steps than you imagine that will lead you to where you’re going.
This is flow, not the rush of productivity, but the ease of alignment.
You’re not struggling upstream anymore. You’re listening for the current and choosing to swim with it.
Of course, doubts still come. Fear. Uncertainty. But they don’t stop you.
Because action taken from clarity has its own momentum.
You’re not trying to manufacture motivation, but moving attuned to something deeper—something true.
And that movement, over time, becomes a path. Not a straight line, but a living one.
“Act not because you must, but because you can’t not. This is inspired action.”
-Free Your Flow
Presence as the Path
There’s a tension we often feel on the journey to fulfilling work—between accepting what is and longing for what could be.
Should we surrender to the moment, or reach for something more?
Should we quiet the desire, or follow it?
Maybe it’s not either/or!
Perhaps, loving what you do and doing what you love are one and the same thing. The outer and the inner reflect one another.
There’s a way—one that doesn’t split us in two, but makes us whole.
That way is Presence.
It honours the longing without becoming lost in it.
It says: yes, this moment matters, it’s fine as it is—and yes, there may be more to come.
Fully feeling the moment, finding the wisdom in it, inviting inspiration for what needs to happen next. It keeps us rooted, while allowing us to grow from what’s before us.
It invites us to feel the full texture of where we are, without rushing to fix it or escape it. And from that grounded seeing, a new kind of action emerges—Not driven by pressure, nor frozen by fear. But moved by knowing. A knowing that arises only from being with what is.
It’s resting in Peace, inner Stillness and Silence while bringing forth bold action that moves you towards who you are becoming, and that which you’re a channel for creating.
It lets life shape us, even as we participate in shaping life.
Presence weaves these two seemingly disparate paths into a single, rich journey, where the joy is not just in the envisioned future, but in the vibrant, unfolding now.
Photo by Manos Kolovouris on Unsplash
