I never in a million years imagined doing all the things I have in my journey to getting to flow and creating meaningful work that fits who I am.
I had my life planned out by the time I reached my late teens. I knew what I wanted. Success in work, which meant a well-paying job in IT as a Systems Analyst.
Fast-forward a couple of years, however, to the end of my University degree, and my enthusiasm was starting to wane. My motivations had started to shift, as I searched for deeper meaning from my work with the desire to make some sort of contribution beyond myself. However, I had no clear idea what that was, and as the need to support myself weighed on me, I entered into a career in IT by default.
A couple of years into my graduate job, it was apparent that I was not getting much satisfaction or meaning from what I was doing nor from what my work was contributing to. However, the reality was I couldn’t just quit. I had to support myself. I was scared and didn’t want to change or risk anything new. I remember sitting at work at times endlessly going round in my head trying to figure out options to make my working life more fulfilling, but at least at that stage I couldn’t come up with any alternatives.
Search for work with meaning
I remember the feeling on Monday mornings (actually most mornings) and come to think of it also on Sunday evening! I felt I really didn’t fit into the sterile corporate world. I hated wearing a suit, and the accompanying silk noose around my neck and especially the Sunday night ironing!
The environment didn’t help. I felt tired of the busyness of London, of the sombre atmosphere on the metro in the morning and spending so much time commuting. I saw myself wanting to escape more and more, to live at a different pace and with more space. I didn’t enjoy the way people rushed around and the lack of connection between them.
Alongside the work dissatisfaction, other alarm bells were ringing which I couldn’t ignore. At one point the whole of the left side of my body was in tension. My mind always on, non-stop, there was no peace. I was living in fear and anxiety, trying to keep control. Locked into endless stories spinning around in my head, there were no gaps in my incessant thinking. I compensated for lack of fulfilment at work by trying to squeeze every ounce of pleasure out of life when I was not there. In the end however, it was taking its toll on my health. My immune system run down, I was feeling the beginnings of chronic fatigue and depression.
Although I consulted doctors, they weren’t able to give me any satisfactory solutions. I started to take note and knew that something needed to change. I also knew that I would have to find the way myself, listening within.
Solutions
I made small excursions, experiments, into finding out what I loved doing. I started giving my time to things I believed in, volunteering in areas where I felt drawn to. Slowly, I found a way to contribute to something greater than myself, which felt like meaningful work that fits me. I started a therapeutic Arts project with a friend, a space to allow people to express and become aware of themselves. This also served me in fact, as it helped me to listen and to more clearly know my value and deeper more authentic desires and how to navigate creating what I wanted. It was interesting, in fact, that the project just seemed to create itself, we found the right people and resources that we needed, almost effortlessly.
Eventually the exploration led to working only part-time and then quitting altogether. I’m not going to kid you that it was easy. In fact, the plan I had when I quit didn’t work out. But I had developed the flexibility to take another opportunity that life presented instead. I realised that living in London no longer suited me, so I took steps to leave, planning on moving to Spain, however ironically, I ended up living on a remote Scottish island, one that I’d previously walked around commenting that you would never catch me living in such a place. Two years later I was living on the very same island, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed!
Magic
I got a taste of how things can magically unfold, when I was willing to let go of my fixed ideas and beliefs to open to my mission and possibility. I listened to my inner voice and took steps in the direction, even though I didn’t know the destination. I learned – and am still learning – how to navigate life in this way, because I experienced how rich life becomes living in the Flow.
I sought my own solutions to the health problems I was having. I slowed down. I started to meditate. At each stage, I asked myself what my body was trying to communicate to me, and I listened as best I could. I did my best not to fight it even though sometimes I didn’t like what it was asking of me. I eased my tight grip on how I envisioned things had to be. I took practical steps, eating well, exercising and above all making space in my mind.
Free Your Flow
Looking back, as I listened to my heart (or a deeper sensing) and let the mind be the faithful servant of it and not the other way around, things happened that were more amazing than anything I ever imagined! In the process, I learnt so much more than I’d planned on!
Actually, one of the greatest learnings on my way is that it’s about the journey and not the destination. Sounds a bit clichéd, but I’m learning the joy of the process of doing something and living, and not only the temporary satisfaction of results.
Things flowed when I let go of rigid ideas in my mind, of having it my way, letting go of my idea of about who I was and my possibilities. Appreciating where I was, being ready to move and also ready to stay, both coming from a deeper listening. I found environments that suited me at each stage. Tuning in to what I needed, I gave myself the possibility of growth, like a plant of a particular species that thrives when you give it the right environment!
Meaningful work that fits who you are!
Listening to my body and looking deeper into what it was telling me, allowed me to take better care of it and resolve health issues. Understanding what I loved doing, recognising the skills and talents I had, what gave me meaning, step by step, I was finding that sweet-spot of meaningful satisfying work I had a natural talent for!
As a career coach, these days, I have the immense privilege of guiding people through the process of deeply connecting to themselves and creating meaningful work that truly fits who they are!
