Part of me is feeling like I should be doing something. “Do something productive”, my mind pipes up! I’m wasting my time. This driven voice is ever-present. The quarantine will be over soon and there will be less time… and we’ll be running around again without a moment’s breath!
I’m sitting here watching the rain. It’s unusual for it to be raining 3 days in a row here in Barcelona.
There is another part of me, that wants to sit here all day watching this rain. Sitting. Breathing. That’s all.
I am privileged, for sure, that I can do that if I want. There are a whole range of situations that people are currently in. However, what I’m faced with is this quietness and all that arises within it.
Somedays I’m restless. Today too. A restlessness to be productive! I should be doing something productive… Although, today I’m enjoying this quietness… this stillness. It’s not the rain… really that I’m enjoying, more like some stillness in me.
Periods of quiet and stillness, of not doing a lot. Times when I’m more active.
I wonder… how can they be brought together? The stillness and the movement. Sounds like a paradox.
I’m curious, how can I honour both these parts, in the same moment?
Moving from Stillness
Speaking and doing but not losing this quiet place inside, this centre. A moving from the Stillness, or speaking from the Silence, it seems to me.
Yes, there is this pulsing vibrating Silence, even now as I write these words. At the end of each sentence… at each period… I’m resting. Coming home to myself.
Typing while watching the rain.
Feeling my breathing.
Delighting in the birds that just passed my window dancing in the rain.
Maybe this is the way. It feels like I’m being taught.
I am here. Relaxed. Open. Like waiting on a lover’s words with bated breath. I feel a joy in this waiting.
It’s raining even more now. “It can rain all day for all I care”, chirps a bird in my mind.
I’m listening for the next chirp…
Listening… Pausing… Resting… Opening
Whatever next? I have no idea!
Waiting but not really waiting.
Open to what arises in the Quietness.
Photo by John Duncan on Unsplash
